OKLAHOMA CITY—In an astonishing display of callousness and naivety, local ignorant fool Brandon Thurber reportedly asked his girlfriend Thursday if she really needed another decorative teapot. “It’s pretty, but don’t you already have a couple of teapots like this?” said the numbskull, who furrowed his brow in stupidity as he utterly failed to grasp the elementary level concept that each and every piece of pottery was a unique and perfect piece of art created to be collected. “It looks a lot like that tall one you keep with all the flowery teapots in the living room—you know, on the coffee table beside all the butterfly teapots you keep on the bookshelf? I might be mistaken, but I thought you already had a teapot with a golden-colored handle. Plus, $80 is a little bit pricey, and I know you’ve been wanting to save up for our beach trip. Maybe you should sit on it for a bit before buying.” At press time, Thurber was frantically attempting to purchase the teapot for his girlfriend.