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Fashionable Ways to Let People Know You’re Vaccinated and Not a Maskless Asshole

This classic accessory will pair equally well with your favorite white tee or tailored blazer (bottoms not optional—remember, you’re back out in public).

Turn any plain old button-down into a chic statement piece by cutting a sizable hole just below the shoulder to expose your bare, recently punctured flesh. Complete the look with a nude Band-Aid—très sexy.

Slip into this tee to show your support for all the members of Fauci’s jam band.

Feeling like you want to flaunt your new immunization status to the world? Whip out some big prick energy with this bronzed syringe bling.

Or let the neighbors know with a vaccination mezuzah.

For a more subtle look, go for a message on your mani.

Still on the fence about baring your naked lower face for all to judge? Don’t lose the mask just yet! Turn it into a security-binkie bangle—wrap it around your wrist to indicate that you could put it back on at any moment, if it seems like people are talking shit about you.

Show that you did it with your ’do. Ask your hairstylist for the J. & J. One-and-Done or the Pfizer Double Double.

Forget curtain bangs; your début reëntry look is all about the Elizabethan forehead. Just shave the upper third of your scalp to make room for a temporary tattoo of your vaccination card. And don’t forget to slap on extra sunblock.

If you’re not into the whole head-shaving thing, enlarge your vaccination card and wrap it around that old fedora you bought in 2007 when you were trying to wean yourself off Ed Hardy trucker hats. This cap’s got you covered when it comes to combatting dirty looks.


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